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New Digs

So, moved recently. New apartment in a much swankier and more yuppified neighborhood with a friend successfully trying to get away from the horrendous cultural dearth of the deep suburbs. It was interesting. He somehow managed to have a house guest the day after we moved in, so there was some great busting of ass to make the common areas hospitable despite the fact that our new landlord didn't much clean up the place for our arrival. Then, I scrambled about for a way to get the hell out of dodge and let the place alone to my roommate and his lady-friend.

So, I did a small moving job (this would have been last Thursday) and then got in touch with Mike. Mike is an interesting phenomenon. He and I went to middle and high school together in North Carolina and were some kind of nemeses. I've randomly run into him here and there in NC before moving here and for some reason he had typically expected me to have forgotten who he was. So, I run into him again; this time in Chicago, about a block and a half from my apartment at the time. I met his girlfriend, who seems nice and who pointed out a rainbow overhead. Good times.

So, now looking for excuses to get out of the brand new apartment, I called him up and left a weird answering machine message describing the scenario with pretty clear transparency. Intriguingly, he returned my call and we met to hang out at a bar, now with 100% less high school pretense. Cool guy, these days; an artist. Probably more of a realist than when I met him and likely more humble as well. I'm probably happier to see people and be around them, for whatever that's worth.

Let's see... still playing D&D 4th edition and enjoying that. We've been doing modular gaming. I'm designing my own, though, and want to make it more interesting than the standard fare. Think I'll frame the group for murder and kick them out of a major city. Also, introduce a villain with some chatty banter. See if I can't dredge up some character backgrounds in the process. All this as a lead-in to my roommate's own module, which could be quite interesting in terms of overlap.

Oh yeah, my roommate's cat is a bitch. I've met dobermans that absolutely adore me and this animal wigs out every time I try to approach my own furniture. Fucking creatures.

Anywho, hoping to have more guests and enjoy some wandering about in the near future; also, not being destroyed by the winter should be a good goal for me. I'd curb stomp that season if it were in any way a corporeal essence. Alas. Hope you folks are all doing well out there in ephemeral land. Take care.


The Nick-Name Cornucopia

Do not read this unless you want to see crass representations of nicknames with no context, created specifically for posterity.

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No content... video games!

I should probably find something useful to say here... nah, screw it. This is probably better if you like band, geeks, band geeks, video games or any combination thereof.

I've seen some good movies lately that perhaps I should go into detail about:

In the Mood For Love
The Wings of Desire
The Barbarian Invasions

They are all fantastic foreign films, one of which was remade domestically in about as mediocre a fashion as I could imagine. I was angry to see the director of City of Angels show up in the documentary about Wings of Desire. Alas.

I also finally finished "The Republic" by Plato. Man, he was a terrible writer.

Still gaming, though more board games of late. I have finally gotten to break into D&D Fourth Edition, which I love infinitely more than I ever did 3.5 or any earlier iteration.

Moving to a new apartment soon, which should be good. I'm pretty much ready to go, already. It may open up some opportunities for me, socially. Who knows? I'm in a weird, languid place.

Let's go read a book.


Man, I am tired. Probably a result of not sleeping when I ought to. It's intentionally done, though. I think I stopped updating because I forgot what the posterity element of the journal felt like, if that makes any sense. I'm updating now mostly reflexively. I found myself looking through my old entries the other day and so here I am again, but with nothing much to say.

I sort of feel as though the summer is a fever dream that's going to dissolve into a rough case of the chills at some point down the road. I'm not certain whether I prefer the Chicago weather or not. Living here, though, makes me want to visit a desert at some point. Of course, I haven't been back to NC since I arrived here, so that would be nice as well; after all, I do miss my friends.

My old boss actually offered me a substantial raise to go back and take up my former job and though it's enticing and would have been the culmination of the dream job at one point... I still hesitate. I just don't feel like going back with nothing would be a proper end to my phase of wandering West; if a phase is what it really is, in fact.

I find I'm reminding myself more often of late that I've known people through livejournal and other corners of the internet for longer than any of my offline friends have lasted me. It's interesting. At the very least I can say that here, people don't outgrow the readiness for proximity to one another. It's something. I think it's deceptively simple to decide to never speak to someone again out there.

Believe it or not, though I've always used my journal as a rambling post, I think it served to assist my focus a lot more than I've given it credit for so doing. It's not a needful thing in my life, though, which is probably why I'm always shrugging it off. Still, like anything, I find I miss people I know through this channel. So, if you're out there, it's good to have been nearer to you for another moment in time.

Writer's Block: I Can Relate

Donnie Darko... or Mugen.
What fictional character do you most identify with?
Hm. I've been juggling a lot of issues with my lack of attention for internet tropes and I think I've come to a conclusion about how I interact with the world. I'm feeling more and more as though I'm a cultural abstainer. By that, I mean I choose not to involve myself in the morays of cultural trends as they exist in the masses today. I don't care about getting ahead, money, social interconnectivity, internet popularity, etiquette, political correctness, property, consumer indulgence... I think this list could go on and on. I'm not certain I've ever taken any of these things for essentials and I doubt I ever will considering I don't believe much in needs as a basis of approach to life. I wonder how large a counter-culture there could be to constitute that basic belief.

I now realize I haven't posted an entry in over a year. That seems fine. There's not much to say. I'm impoverished as many people are now (11%?), but that's neither here nor there. I have less in terms of physical ownership than I think I ever have, but have access to more culture and information than ever. So, it's still functioning, I suppose. That... is all.
Man, I've been having a pretty good week owing mostly to the weather and good company... then last night my sister explodes at me and flies off the fucking handle for no good reason. Sometimes she can be way too oversensitive. She's also apparently decided to push my buttons by playing the "I'm closing the shop" card whenever she can't handle what's going on. She seems to think I'm this passive-aggressive jerk when I keep telling her over and again that I'm an overtly aggressive asshole when the mood strikes me and an uncaring prick when I'm tired. Oh, well.

I've got money coming at me, which is nice. Made a hundred yesterday, making it one of my top five most profitable days ever; construction stuff is dirty and achey work. That's not a complaint. I kind of feel there's a rustic quality to it that I wasn't really noticing in Chicago proper before. I'm also helping my boss to interact with his son, which is nice because it gives that making-a-difference feeling that I've been lacking; his ex-girlfriend/baby-mama is a litigious bitch, my friends and acquaintances.

I met a woman the other night whom I wanted to ask out only to find out she has a kid (not really a problem) and a fiancée (fuck); but I couldn't help wondering why she should profess such self-doubt about her attractiveness considering that she has these things. I don't understand why people want to be other people. I'm no great shakes myself, but I think I've only ever really wanted to be a better, more inspired and proactive me. I don't want to be some other guy unless, I don't know, I reincarnate maybe? I don't put stock in that option, believe me.

Gamering tonight. I'll have the café to myself and we can play Spirit of the Century and I'll pretend to be a lapsed monk who gambles and kicks your ass. It's perfectly appealing.

Can it be?

Is this the truest truth? Have I found a group of indie gamers? Ones who eschew D&D and have limited familiarity with White Wolf because they spend all their time collecting games like Riddle of Steel, Spirit of the Century and Capes? According to last night, the answer is "yes". Since they didn't have a game plan I pretty much gave them the "let's play SotC" beatstick approach until they acquiesced and started coming up with character concepts. Me, I've had a concept brewing for like a month. I'm ready. They might want to play All Flesh at some point so I need to think about eventually getting my books back from NC. Hell, they loved the idea of playing Wraith: the Great War. !!! This is the only recorded kuwaii incidence I've had in many months, so take note.

They're all also comic book geeks so Capes is a possibility I'm hoping to pimp. They mentioned playing a game called Dogville (I think, maybe Dogland), so that could be cool. Also, seemed interested in playing at the cafe, which means I can have fun at work. Tim, the former boss, always said I could game at his store; but I always found the idea impractical, since there was no room to spread out and eat my cheetohs. Here I can close a bit early if the mood strikes and our customer base is limited enough that I doubt I'll be dragged away for more than ten minutes if people did come in.

I also got invited to Joliet, which using public transportation would take me three hours to reach. These guys were all also invited, which makes me think the recruiters might be somewhat dubious. So screw that noise.

I'm playing a lot in the suburbs. I've got one character that's a pretty hokey super-optimistic knight errant; that character is enjoyable because of my interplay with fellow player's hokey rapscallion character. Good times. Plot not too exciting yet, but since it's a homebrew world I can hope for expansion. We started at 5th level so are already pretty damn powerful, especially with me making my character a wound sponge.

I'm loving my Star Wars character. I've already gotten a jedi arrested and then blackmailed her to get her out of jail so she can train me to use the force. I presented this concept to a friend who was toying with running a game a while back and he poked a lot of holes in it and then never ran the game. Now, however, I'm having a ball and advancing the plot. Go me. Travel sucks, but my fellow gamers are accommodating to my limitations.

There's also the D&D meetup, which is a big dogpile of gamers and fun for simply that reason.

My mom is coming to visit, soon. I don't relish the idea of she, my sister and I all being under one very small roof together. Not at all do I relish it.


I have a lot of issues with my sister. I came and visited her in the summer and was somewhat pleased at how much liberty she had been taking with the prudish Christian schtick. She still annoys the hell out of me, though. I return the favor, I'm certain, but I find myself freezing into "what the fucking fuck, man?" mode a lot more often than I remember from the last year or so.

At her cafe, we're discussing cookies:
"So," she says, "if you feel like being nice to somebody, you can give them these cookies." ... as opposed to selling them those cookies.
"You know, I'm not usually that nice."
She starts doing a very exaggerated rubbing motion with the flat of her palm against the side of my shoulder.
"... Did you just try to rub off on me?!"
Then she gives me her signature caricature grin, which I hate and am always inclined to frown at and have told her is the fakest smile I've ever seen in my life.

We've got a lot of barriers, she and I.

Anyways, I've been gaming in the suburbs, so that's been fun at least. I've been thinking of some really freaky weird D&D style encounters that I think might actually be a fun epic-style campaign, especially if the characters start out on the heels of a not-quite epic party as sort of a mop-up crew.
Why do you think it is some people don't get along with you?

Because I have disdain for them.